True to life, this past winter changed all my plans. And I am laughing out loud.
I am once again working at the harbor, and will be trying to keep up with my writing. This means new posts are coming soon. I can't believe it's been since last September that I exercised my carpals and phalanges. I'll get back at it very soon ... I promise.
Saturday, May 5, 2012
Saturday, September 3, 2011
On Coming Fall
Now that Hurricane turned Tropical Storm Irene has left the region a premature autumn has set in around the Cape. The timing is simply perfect as Labor Day weekend is the traditional end of the Summer season here. Commercial ventures dependent on the Summer season are grinding to a reluctant close, as our commercial fishing fleet turns their eyes to another brutal winter among the waves and whitecaps of the north Atlantic. And I begin my plans toward a future on the highways and byways of this wonderful country of ours.
In preparation I have withdrawn from classes at Cape Cod Community College for the foreseeable future. That is, of course, not to say that I will never go back, but for now the needs of my family outweigh the needs of my schooling. This will also give me the time to decide what to do as a long term career in the second half of this life. Change is coming, I merely hope for the better.
I will miss my compadres and those that make working at Hyannis Harbor something of an adventure. And I am certain that my family will miss me while I am working behind the wheel of an 80,000 pound behemoth cruising the continent. But I have decided that I simply can't afford to go through another fall and winter like this past one ... both personally and financially. I haven't got it in me.
While I would love the chance to stay local, driving a truck (as a rookie driver) tends to take one elsewhere for months at a time in the beginning. The nights will be dark and lonely as they were before. But just knowing that I won't be staring into the maw of my third month without a paycheck makes me feel better about it. It's what I have to do, and to be honest I'm looking forward to it. And, I'm good at it.
As I walk the bulkhead, keeping an eye on the harbor, I watch Than the pirate entertain the kids and I have hope for the future. Their eyes light up as he makes his pitch for new hands to run his ship, and they follow him gladly knowing that adventure is at hand. If I can manage to look at my new opportunities with the same passions I will do fine. And then, maybe someday, I too will create my own job ... doing what I love most. But, until that day I will persevere and drive on into the night that looms ... weather the wind blows or the snow falls ... I will prevail because I am ... and I live free.
In preparation I have withdrawn from classes at Cape Cod Community College for the foreseeable future. That is, of course, not to say that I will never go back, but for now the needs of my family outweigh the needs of my schooling. This will also give me the time to decide what to do as a long term career in the second half of this life. Change is coming, I merely hope for the better.
I will miss my compadres and those that make working at Hyannis Harbor something of an adventure. And I am certain that my family will miss me while I am working behind the wheel of an 80,000 pound behemoth cruising the continent. But I have decided that I simply can't afford to go through another fall and winter like this past one ... both personally and financially. I haven't got it in me.
While I would love the chance to stay local, driving a truck (as a rookie driver) tends to take one elsewhere for months at a time in the beginning. The nights will be dark and lonely as they were before. But just knowing that I won't be staring into the maw of my third month without a paycheck makes me feel better about it. It's what I have to do, and to be honest I'm looking forward to it. And, I'm good at it.
As I walk the bulkhead, keeping an eye on the harbor, I watch Than the pirate entertain the kids and I have hope for the future. Their eyes light up as he makes his pitch for new hands to run his ship, and they follow him gladly knowing that adventure is at hand. If I can manage to look at my new opportunities with the same passions I will do fine. And then, maybe someday, I too will create my own job ... doing what I love most. But, until that day I will persevere and drive on into the night that looms ... weather the wind blows or the snow falls ... I will prevail because I am ... and I live free.
Saturday, July 9, 2011
Rainy Night on Hyannis Harbor
On this evening on Cape Cod the periodic rain is falling in sheets reminiscent of the monsoon rains of southeast Asia, or so I am told. I actually look forward to nights like this. The rain provides the back drop needed when contemplating the direction of one's life. And on this night I am contemplating direction, or more specifically the lack there of in my own life.
At forty years old I have had the privilege to work in many diverse industries. From Aircraft Mechanics to Concert Production to being an overnight Harbormaster, well ... assistant anyway. One thing that those many jobs have taught me is that there are always options. And tonight while I sit listening to the patter of rain (interspersed with the roar of a deluge) I am weighing my options.
I will always be a writer, that much is certain, whether or not I am a successful writer or not remains to be seen, yet also remains unimportant in the direction of my life. But only so because the major divining factor in my life's direction is my ability to produce a consistent income. I always have said that money is not the most important thing in life, and it still isn't, but it is a necessary evil in today's society.
As many of you know, I spent some time in 2008 as a truck driver. It was a difficult life, made more so because the woman I am in love with (my wife) was virtually abandoned while I was on the road. Since our move back to Cape Cod, this is no longer the case, and the road beckons yet again. Many of you will think that I am insane to consider going back to driving a truck; many because of the stigma that truck drivers have gotten over the years, and many more because of the distance between love, life and job. But considering all factors, real and imagined, I am going to be making the move back into driving for a living.
Before I came to this decision I did the standard pro / con analysis and was only able to come up with three solid cons. Distance from family. Missing events. And missed opportunities. The rest were emotionally based or imagined. The pros are numerous. My mother will say that I am giving up on a college education. My wife understands, and that is all that matters. I could tell my mother that I will continue taking classes while on the road, but she may not hear me. She tends to buy into the modern stigma that truck drivers are dirty, out of shape, uneducated, and more. Mostly she will be worried, and I am sure she won't be alone.
I look at driving again as an opportunity. As a driver I have the ability to determine the direction (both literal and figurative) of my life. Since I was a child I have looked at truck drivers in the romantic light they once basked in as the Knights of the Road. My uncle was a truck driver, more specifically ... the rarer of the species ... a flat-bedder. It was always fascinating to hear about the places he'd been and the highways he'd driven ... even more so because those stories were rationed, and were usually gleaned from the top of the stairs when I should have been in bed.To me, even though he was never the hug-able teddy bear, he was always a hero.
The non-romantic in me sees driving as a stable career with options earned with experience. I have spend the last two years working as an Assistant Harbormaster in the summer time, and begging for work in the winter. This past winter I spent three months living on the good graces of my mother and wife. I was going to school (full time), but I still felt the weight that I placed on the shoulders of others during this time. This is something that I can not impose on my family again, and so my decision is made. Now the only question is how to make it happen.
I have a couple of options that I am considering. One is to join a training company and work in legal indentured servitude for a couple of years. The other is to find a way to fund another trip through CDL school. The second option is by far the best, but is also the most impractical.
So, here I sit, listening to the rain ... hoping for some sign ... some direction post ... some help with making this decision a reality again. But the rain offers no advise, no absolution in my quandary. I must do this for me, but doing it will hurt others that I love. I suppose it's best to tear the bandage off as if from the wounded knee of a youngster on a rainy afternoon.
At forty years old I have had the privilege to work in many diverse industries. From Aircraft Mechanics to Concert Production to being an overnight Harbormaster, well ... assistant anyway. One thing that those many jobs have taught me is that there are always options. And tonight while I sit listening to the patter of rain (interspersed with the roar of a deluge) I am weighing my options.
I will always be a writer, that much is certain, whether or not I am a successful writer or not remains to be seen, yet also remains unimportant in the direction of my life. But only so because the major divining factor in my life's direction is my ability to produce a consistent income. I always have said that money is not the most important thing in life, and it still isn't, but it is a necessary evil in today's society.
As many of you know, I spent some time in 2008 as a truck driver. It was a difficult life, made more so because the woman I am in love with (my wife) was virtually abandoned while I was on the road. Since our move back to Cape Cod, this is no longer the case, and the road beckons yet again. Many of you will think that I am insane to consider going back to driving a truck; many because of the stigma that truck drivers have gotten over the years, and many more because of the distance between love, life and job. But considering all factors, real and imagined, I am going to be making the move back into driving for a living.
Before I came to this decision I did the standard pro / con analysis and was only able to come up with three solid cons. Distance from family. Missing events. And missed opportunities. The rest were emotionally based or imagined. The pros are numerous. My mother will say that I am giving up on a college education. My wife understands, and that is all that matters. I could tell my mother that I will continue taking classes while on the road, but she may not hear me. She tends to buy into the modern stigma that truck drivers are dirty, out of shape, uneducated, and more. Mostly she will be worried, and I am sure she won't be alone.
I look at driving again as an opportunity. As a driver I have the ability to determine the direction (both literal and figurative) of my life. Since I was a child I have looked at truck drivers in the romantic light they once basked in as the Knights of the Road. My uncle was a truck driver, more specifically ... the rarer of the species ... a flat-bedder. It was always fascinating to hear about the places he'd been and the highways he'd driven ... even more so because those stories were rationed, and were usually gleaned from the top of the stairs when I should have been in bed.To me, even though he was never the hug-able teddy bear, he was always a hero.
The non-romantic in me sees driving as a stable career with options earned with experience. I have spend the last two years working as an Assistant Harbormaster in the summer time, and begging for work in the winter. This past winter I spent three months living on the good graces of my mother and wife. I was going to school (full time), but I still felt the weight that I placed on the shoulders of others during this time. This is something that I can not impose on my family again, and so my decision is made. Now the only question is how to make it happen.
I have a couple of options that I am considering. One is to join a training company and work in legal indentured servitude for a couple of years. The other is to find a way to fund another trip through CDL school. The second option is by far the best, but is also the most impractical.
So, here I sit, listening to the rain ... hoping for some sign ... some direction post ... some help with making this decision a reality again. But the rain offers no advise, no absolution in my quandary. I must do this for me, but doing it will hurt others that I love. I suppose it's best to tear the bandage off as if from the wounded knee of a youngster on a rainy afternoon.
Monday, July 4, 2011
Harassment - A Turn of Perception
Harassment. This is something that I had always taken as a sort of afterthought. Since I am not someone that will harass anyone ... for any reason, it is shocking to me (albeit due to my own naivete) that I am currently mired in the swamp of harassment.
I currently work for one of the towns here on Cape Cod as Overnight Security / Assistant Harbormaster. I work my shift alone, and overnight. As you can well imagine there are certain risks associated with working at one of the busier harbors on the Cape ... especially alone. Recently, a coworker of mine (I will keep her name to myself due to my personal professionalism) began spreading lies and innuendo about the harbor claiming that I am unreliable and that I shouldn't be trusted with my overnight duties. Now, in my opinion (an opinion shared by my boss) she has no basis for these statements. However, these statements can cause undue difficulty when performing my duties. Whether it be from the constant fielding of questions from boat owners and interested parties that do business at the harbor, or from other town employees asking what I did to deserve this treatment, her allegations have caused a definite loss of respect both for myself and the harbormaster's office.
Being a "nice guy" I've let most of what she does slide. That is until this last stunt that she's pulled down here. See, I'm a big guy ... overweight, but working on it ... and she has taken to going through the garbage to "see what Matt's eating." This coupled with the lies she's been spreading are quickly causing me to reevaluate my choice of employment. I am also considering filing a harassment charge against her with the local legal eagles. It's been a daily siege (work days anyway ... I tend to leave work at work as best I can), always something new that she's doing to make my life difficult on the harbor. She has repeatedly told coworkers that she hates me and other such vile crap.
Please don't get me wrong ... I've dealt with bullies before. I've gone through my supervisor and asked him to intervene which I believe he's tried. But to no avail. It is abusive, and verging on insane. It's also constant. I have sent my boss an ultimatum of sorts. I explained that her actions are causing me to reevaluate my employment choices and that something has got to be done this time. I have also informed him that should things continue he would be receiving my notice. I don't think that I'm being unreasonable ... especially since this has been an on-going issue since last season.
So, here's what I'm doing about it today ... I've put this ad on Craig's List (http://capecod.craigslist.org/res/2476156631.html) It's nothing that will get me in trouble ... but I sincerely hope that it will help me get a job doing something that I really love. If you feel you can help me get a job in radio ... please do help. I'm at the end of my rope where I am.
Sorry for the rant, I'll be back to normal posting soon ... I hope.
I currently work for one of the towns here on Cape Cod as Overnight Security / Assistant Harbormaster. I work my shift alone, and overnight. As you can well imagine there are certain risks associated with working at one of the busier harbors on the Cape ... especially alone. Recently, a coworker of mine (I will keep her name to myself due to my personal professionalism) began spreading lies and innuendo about the harbor claiming that I am unreliable and that I shouldn't be trusted with my overnight duties. Now, in my opinion (an opinion shared by my boss) she has no basis for these statements. However, these statements can cause undue difficulty when performing my duties. Whether it be from the constant fielding of questions from boat owners and interested parties that do business at the harbor, or from other town employees asking what I did to deserve this treatment, her allegations have caused a definite loss of respect both for myself and the harbormaster's office.
Being a "nice guy" I've let most of what she does slide. That is until this last stunt that she's pulled down here. See, I'm a big guy ... overweight, but working on it ... and she has taken to going through the garbage to "see what Matt's eating." This coupled with the lies she's been spreading are quickly causing me to reevaluate my choice of employment. I am also considering filing a harassment charge against her with the local legal eagles. It's been a daily siege (work days anyway ... I tend to leave work at work as best I can), always something new that she's doing to make my life difficult on the harbor. She has repeatedly told coworkers that she hates me and other such vile crap.
Please don't get me wrong ... I've dealt with bullies before. I've gone through my supervisor and asked him to intervene which I believe he's tried. But to no avail. It is abusive, and verging on insane. It's also constant. I have sent my boss an ultimatum of sorts. I explained that her actions are causing me to reevaluate my employment choices and that something has got to be done this time. I have also informed him that should things continue he would be receiving my notice. I don't think that I'm being unreasonable ... especially since this has been an on-going issue since last season.
So, here's what I'm doing about it today ... I've put this ad on Craig's List (http://capecod.craigslist.org/res/2476156631.html) It's nothing that will get me in trouble ... but I sincerely hope that it will help me get a job doing something that I really love. If you feel you can help me get a job in radio ... please do help. I'm at the end of my rope where I am.
Sorry for the rant, I'll be back to normal posting soon ... I hope.
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Times Are Changing
The more I think about this past winter and the challenges that presented themselves, the more I agree with myself that I can't have another winter like that. Jobs, as we all know, are scarce everywhere. The one I currently have is a seasonal overnight Assistant Harbormaster on Cape Cod. And it's the Seasonal part that is the problem.
Don't get me wrong, I love the job ... it's fun and you can't beat the scenery. But the three months that I spent waiting to start working again (I was going to school) were the longest months that I've spent in a while. No income during that period made my out look very bleak indeed.
So, I think it's time for another change. I think I need to get back into physical shape and consider driving over the road again. My wife and I both need the income, and a year round job is definitely what the doctor ordered for this nasty case of depression I've been waging a private war against. But the rest of my family, Mom mostly, is going to have a hard time understanding this decision.
I am going to continue writing, and once my income level smooths out I will be taking online classes. I haven't given up on getting my bachelor's degree, or on being a writer for that matter. As a matter of fact, my story "Road Rage" has been tapped to be included in an anthology. I don't have solid details on that yet, but I will drop them in the soup here when I find out.
Just a quick update. Have a great day, it's time for me to get home and get some sleep.
Don't get me wrong, I love the job ... it's fun and you can't beat the scenery. But the three months that I spent waiting to start working again (I was going to school) were the longest months that I've spent in a while. No income during that period made my out look very bleak indeed.
So, I think it's time for another change. I think I need to get back into physical shape and consider driving over the road again. My wife and I both need the income, and a year round job is definitely what the doctor ordered for this nasty case of depression I've been waging a private war against. But the rest of my family, Mom mostly, is going to have a hard time understanding this decision.
I am going to continue writing, and once my income level smooths out I will be taking online classes. I haven't given up on getting my bachelor's degree, or on being a writer for that matter. As a matter of fact, my story "Road Rage" has been tapped to be included in an anthology. I don't have solid details on that yet, but I will drop them in the soup here when I find out.
Just a quick update. Have a great day, it's time for me to get home and get some sleep.
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Wind in the Whippoorwill
Yesterday, due to Mother Nature, my family in western Massachusetts came under attack. Not from a human enemy, but by the very wind itself. They were lucky to escape the localized damage of the tornadoes that ravaged the state from Westfield, through West Springfield, Springfield and Palmer. The most severe of the whirlwinds was on the ground for over thirty minutes. I, as my family will, mourn those who lost their lives in this storm.
Growing up in the mid-west (until the age of 12) I can tell you that the photos and videos that I've seen capture what can only be described as a West Kansas Twister; a rope of unrelenting devastation tracing it's way across the landscape as would the finger of God.
Today my thoughts are with the members of the affected communities, but especially with the Rix's of Westfield, and the Nolan's of West Springfield. There are entirely too many people, friends of our family, to list here ... my thoughts are with you all in this time of chaos and need.
Growing up in the mid-west (until the age of 12) I can tell you that the photos and videos that I've seen capture what can only be described as a West Kansas Twister; a rope of unrelenting devastation tracing it's way across the landscape as would the finger of God.
Today my thoughts are with the members of the affected communities, but especially with the Rix's of Westfield, and the Nolan's of West Springfield. There are entirely too many people, friends of our family, to list here ... my thoughts are with you all in this time of chaos and need.
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Foggy Reflections
I remember watching that classic horror film, The Fog, for the first time as a kid and having nightmares for days. Something about that movie really messed with my head. Perhaps is the was helpless Adrienne Barbeau stuck in a radio station, or maybe it was the idea of undead pirates pissed off about their stolen gold. At any rate, a healthy caution as born in me during those long nights. I am always more wary on foggy nights.
I think it's important to point out that this healthy caution is not in anyway the development of Homichlophobia - the fear of fog - but rather an awareness of possible unseen hazards. Though the idea of someone lurking just out of view, obscured by wafts of foggy mist, is particularly hair raising, I don't feel that persistent pressure of "eyes upon me".
I do find also, in writing fiction, that fog is a very useful tool when the intent is to build suspense. Tonight, as I write this from the Harbormaster's Office, the fog is thick in Hyannis. The visibility is down to 1/4 mile. I am not fearful, but when I drive home I will be mindful of hazards, particularly if those hazards appear to be zombie like sailors of pirate vessels in New England.
I think it's important to point out that this healthy caution is not in anyway the development of Homichlophobia - the fear of fog - but rather an awareness of possible unseen hazards. Though the idea of someone lurking just out of view, obscured by wafts of foggy mist, is particularly hair raising, I don't feel that persistent pressure of "eyes upon me".
I do find also, in writing fiction, that fog is a very useful tool when the intent is to build suspense. Tonight, as I write this from the Harbormaster's Office, the fog is thick in Hyannis. The visibility is down to 1/4 mile. I am not fearful, but when I drive home I will be mindful of hazards, particularly if those hazards appear to be zombie like sailors of pirate vessels in New England.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)