On Coming Fall

Now that Hurricane turned Tropical Storm Irene has left the region a premature autumn has set in around the Cape. The timing is simply perfect as Labor Day weekend is the traditional end of the Summer season here. Commercial ventures dependent on the Summer season are grinding to a reluctant close, as our commercial fishing fleet turns their eyes to another brutal winter among the waves and whitecaps of the north Atlantic. And I begin my plans toward a future on the highways and byways of this wonderful country of ours.

In preparation I have withdrawn from classes at Cape Cod Community College for the foreseeable future. That is, of course, not to say that I will never go back, but for now the needs of my family outweigh the needs of my schooling. This will also give me the time to decide what to do as a long term career in the second half of this life. Change is coming, I merely hope for the better.

I will miss my compadres and those that make working at Hyannis Harbor something of an adventure. And I am certain that my family will miss me while I am working behind the wheel of an 80,000 pound behemoth cruising the continent. But I have decided that I simply can't afford to go through another fall and winter like this past one ... both personally and financially. I haven't got it in me.

While I would love the chance to stay local, driving a truck (as a rookie driver) tends to take one elsewhere for months at a time in the beginning. The nights will be dark and lonely as they were before. But just knowing that I won't be staring into the maw of my third month without a paycheck makes me feel better about it. It's what I have to do, and to be honest I'm looking forward to it. And, I'm good at it.

As I walk the bulkhead, keeping an eye on the harbor, I watch Than the pirate entertain the kids and I have hope for the future. Their eyes light up as he makes his pitch for new hands to run his ship, and they follow him gladly knowing that adventure is at hand. If I can manage to look at my new opportunities with the same passions I will do fine. And then, maybe someday, I too will create my own job ... doing what I love most. But, until that day I will persevere and drive on into the night that looms ... weather the wind blows or the snow falls ... I will prevail because I am ... and I live free.

Rainy Night on Hyannis Harbor

On this evening on Cape Cod the periodic rain is falling in sheets reminiscent of the monsoon rains of southeast Asia, or so I am told. I actually look forward to nights like this. The rain provides the back drop needed when contemplating the direction of one's life. And on this night I am contemplating direction, or more specifically the lack there of in my own life. 

At forty years old I have had the privilege to work in many diverse industries. From Aircraft Mechanics to Concert Production to being an overnight Harbormaster, well ... assistant anyway. One thing that those many jobs have taught me is that there are always options. And tonight while I sit listening to the patter of rain (interspersed with the roar of a deluge) I am weighing my options.

I will always be a writer, that much is certain, whether or not I am a successful writer or not remains to be seen, yet also remains unimportant in the direction of my life. But only so because the major divining factor in my life's direction is my ability to produce a consistent income. I always have said that money is not the most important thing in life, and it still isn't, but it is a necessary evil in today's society. 

As many of you know, I spent some time in 2008 as a truck driver. It was a difficult life, made more so because the woman I am in love with (my wife) was virtually abandoned while I was on the road. Since our move back to Cape Cod, this is no longer the case, and the road beckons yet again. Many of you will think that I am insane to consider going back to driving a truck; many because of the stigma that truck drivers have gotten over the years, and many more because of the distance between love, life and job. But considering all factors, real and imagined, I am going to be making the move back into driving for a living.

Before I came to this decision I did the standard pro / con analysis and was only able to come up with three solid cons. Distance from family. Missing events. And missed opportunities. The rest were emotionally based or imagined. The pros are numerous. My mother will say that I am giving up on a college education. My wife understands, and that is all that matters. I could tell my mother that I will continue taking classes while on the road, but she may not hear me. She tends to buy into the modern stigma that truck drivers are dirty, out of shape, uneducated, and more. Mostly she will be worried, and I am sure she won't be alone.

I look at driving again as an opportunity. As a driver I have the ability to determine the direction (both literal and figurative) of my life. Since I was a child I have looked at truck drivers in the romantic light they once basked in as the Knights of the Road. My uncle was a truck driver, more specifically ... the rarer of the species ... a flat-bedder. It was always fascinating to hear about the places he'd been and the highways he'd driven ... even more so because those stories were rationed, and were usually gleaned from the top of the stairs when I should have been in bed.To me, even though he was never the hug-able teddy bear, he was always a hero.

The non-romantic in me sees driving as a stable career with options earned with experience. I have spend the last two years working as an Assistant Harbormaster in the summer time, and begging for work in the winter. This past winter I spent three months living on the good graces of my mother and wife. I was going to school (full time), but I still felt the weight that I placed on the shoulders of others during this time. This is something that I can not impose on my family again, and so my decision is made. Now the only question is how to make it happen.

I have a couple of options that I am considering. One is to join a training company and work in legal indentured servitude for a couple of years. The other is to find a way to fund another trip through CDL school. The second option is by far the best, but is also the most impractical. 

So, here I sit, listening to the rain ... hoping for some sign ... some direction post ... some help with making this decision a reality again. But the rain offers no advise, no absolution in my quandary. I must do this for me, but doing it will hurt others that I love. I suppose it's best to tear the bandage off as if from the wounded knee of a youngster on a rainy afternoon.

Harassment - A Turn of Perception

 Harassment. This is something that I had always taken as a sort of afterthought. Since I am not someone that will harass anyone ... for any reason, it is shocking to me (albeit due to my own naivete) that I am currently mired in the swamp of harassment.

I currently work for one of the towns here on Cape Cod as Overnight Security / Assistant Harbormaster. I work my shift alone, and overnight. As you can well imagine there are certain risks associated with working at one of the busier harbors on the Cape ... especially alone. Recently, a coworker of mine (I will keep her name to myself due to my personal professionalism) began spreading lies and innuendo about the harbor claiming that I am unreliable and that I shouldn't be trusted with my overnight duties.  Now, in my opinion (an opinion shared by my boss) she has no basis for these statements. However, these statements can cause undue difficulty when performing my duties. Whether it be from the constant fielding of questions from boat owners and interested parties that do business at the harbor, or from other town employees asking what I did to deserve this treatment, her allegations have caused a definite loss of respect both for myself and the harbormaster's office.

Being a "nice guy" I've let most of what she does slide. That is until this last stunt that she's pulled down here. See, I'm a big guy ... overweight, but working on it ... and she has taken to going through the garbage to "see what Matt's eating." This coupled with the lies she's been spreading are quickly causing me to reevaluate my choice of employment. I am also considering filing a harassment charge against her with the local legal eagles. It's been a daily siege (work days anyway ... I tend to leave work at work as best I can), always something new that she's doing to make my life difficult on the harbor. She has repeatedly told coworkers that she hates me and other such vile crap.

Please don't get me wrong ... I've dealt with bullies before. I've gone through my supervisor and asked him to intervene which I believe he's tried. But to no avail. It is abusive, and verging on insane. It's also constant. I have sent my boss an ultimatum of sorts. I explained that her actions are causing me to reevaluate my employment choices and that something has got to be done this time. I have also informed him that should things continue he would be receiving my notice. I don't think that I'm being unreasonable ... especially since this has been an on-going issue since last season.

So, here's what I'm doing about it today ... I've put this ad on Craig's List (http://capecod.craigslist.org/res/2476156631.html) It's nothing that will get me in trouble ... but I sincerely hope that it will help me get a job doing something that I really love. If you feel you can help me get a job in radio ... please do help. I'm at the end of my rope where I am.

Sorry for the rant, I'll be back to normal posting soon ... I hope.

Times Are Changing

The more I think about this past winter and the challenges that presented themselves, the more I agree with myself that I can't have another winter like that. Jobs, as we all know, are scarce everywhere. The one I currently have is a seasonal overnight Assistant Harbormaster on Cape Cod. And it's the Seasonal part that is the problem.

Don't get me wrong, I love the job ... it's fun and you can't beat the scenery. But the three months that I spent waiting to start working again (I was going to school) were the longest months that I've spent in a while. No income during that period made my out look very bleak indeed.

So, I think it's time for another change. I think I need to get back into physical shape and consider driving over the road again. My wife and I both need the income, and a year round job is definitely what the doctor ordered for this nasty case of depression I've been waging a private war against. But the rest of my family, Mom mostly, is going to have a hard time understanding this decision.

I am going to continue writing, and once my income level smooths out I will be taking online classes. I haven't given up on getting my bachelor's degree, or on being a writer for that matter. As a matter of fact, my story "Road Rage" has been tapped to be included in an anthology. I don't have solid details on that yet, but I will drop them in the soup here when I find out.

Just a quick update. Have a great day, it's time for me to get home and get some sleep.

Wind in the Whippoorwill

Yesterday, due to Mother Nature, my family in western Massachusetts came under attack. Not from a human enemy, but by the very wind itself. They were lucky to escape the localized damage of the tornadoes that ravaged the state from Westfield, through West Springfield, Springfield and Palmer. The most severe of the whirlwinds was on the ground for over thirty minutes. I, as my family will, mourn those who lost their lives in this storm.

Growing up in the mid-west (until the age of 12) I can tell you that the photos and videos that I've seen capture what can only be described as a West Kansas Twister; a rope of unrelenting devastation tracing it's way across the landscape as would the finger of God.

Today my thoughts are with the members of the affected communities, but especially with the Rix's of Westfield, and the Nolan's of West Springfield. There are entirely too many people, friends of our family, to list here ... my thoughts are with you all in this time of chaos and need.

Foggy Reflections

I remember watching that classic horror film, The Fog, for the first time as a kid and having nightmares for days. Something about that movie really messed with my head. Perhaps is the was helpless Adrienne Barbeau stuck in a radio station, or maybe it was the idea of undead pirates pissed off about their stolen gold. At any rate, a healthy caution as born in me during those long nights. I am always more wary on foggy nights.

I think it's important to point out that this healthy caution is not in anyway the development of Homichlophobia - the fear of fog - but rather an awareness of possible unseen hazards. Though the idea of someone lurking just out of view, obscured by wafts of foggy mist, is particularly hair raising, I don't feel that persistent pressure of "eyes upon me". 

I do find also, in writing fiction, that fog is a very useful tool when the intent is to build suspense. Tonight, as I write this from the Harbormaster's Office, the fog is thick in Hyannis. The visibility is down to 1/4 mile. I am not fearful, but when I drive home I will be mindful of hazards, particularly if those hazards appear to be zombie like sailors of pirate vessels in New England.

The Approaching Season

Cape Cod in the summer time generates visions of packed beaches, friends, and good times. This summer it holds something special for me in addition to all that. I have been invited to be a part of the Cape Cod Writer's Conference this August.

A writing submission was a part of the scholarship application for this summer's conference. I was lucky enough, and I am honored, to be an honorable mention. This means that I get to attend any of the classes that I choose in exchange for ten hours of volunteer work. This is a huge honor for me, and an great opportunity to rub elbows and make contact with some heavy hitters in the literary field. I couldn't be more psyched.

I have been working on several pieces to take along with the pieces that I came up with this past semester. I will keep you all updated as things go along, but for now it's back to work at the harbor.

Old Friends and Facebook

I used to eschew Facebook. I have had a page there for a long while, but I always avoided it like the plague. I can't really explain why, but it's probably because I've never been a super social animal. But since getting into the whole Radio gig, I've been on it more than I'd ever imagined.

Just today I found a friend that I haven't talked to in 20 years. It's not that there was a falling out or anything dramatic ... it's just that we never reconnected after college. It turns out that since leaving the then Colorado Institute of Art (now called the Art Institute of Denver) Bennii has been really tearing it up. He was a great drummer then, but has since recorded with all kinds of artists all over the South Pacific of all places.

I feel like my persistence may have been weak. Though I did try. But then Bennii is an amazing musician. I'm simply not. I do play a little bass, guitar, piano and sax ... but nothing at the level that Bennii Obaña was at then.

I am happy to have reconnected with him. He's living in the Philippines and has a baby on the was with his new wife. Good for you Bennii ... good for you.

I am on Facebook much more often now, but I'm still not a social animal.

Mother's Day - 2011

"Mother is the name of God on the lips of all children." - Erik Draven (The Crow).

This is just a quick note to throw out there into the digital void. Happy mother's day to all mothers, but especially to those mothers with Sons and Daughters in harms way all over the world. May they come home soon, and find a hero's welcome waiting.

Cheers, Matt

Rejection - Finally

I have been told that all writers face rejection on a large scale. I have been expecting it for a while now, and since submitting a short story to a couple of online magazines I've been waiting patiently to receive my first rejection notice. I got that today. Now, I feel like I can say that I am a writer.

Rejection is a part of the human experience. In most cases it's not a pleasant experience, however I have discovered that if the impending rejection is expected it's a little easier to accept.

I had submitted a short story called "Road Rage" to an online literary magazine. I had done my research by reading several issues of the magazine and I  had expected that my submission would would be something they would definitely be interested in. The message I received told me that while they enjoyed my writing and my story it simply wasn't right for them at this time.

The message was most likely a form based response, and I can understand that. Rather than being discouraged, I reflect on the writing of several different authors - some famous, some not - and each and every one of them has received a response worded similar to mine. So, I am not angry, sad, or depressed ... I actually feel like I'm one of the club.

Springtime in Hyannis

The robins and sparrows have long since returned. They join us here in mid to early March. The clamming dredges and lobster boats' long winter is over and the rails are no longer encrusted in sea ice. The water that surrounds Cape Cod is still only warm enough to caress and love the polar bears, but soon ... so soon ... the summer will spring itself upon the beaches and the harbors... and the bikinis and shorts will appear. The trees are budding and the tulips are in bloom. Spring is definitely here ... and more importantly ... I am once again employed.

I work for a harbormaster's office here on Cape Cod and though my patience is often taxed, I love working here. It is just unfortunate that this summer job isn't a job that can sustain a family over the long run; winters are cold and long and lately ... expensive. But for the time being I will gladly take the views I am offered, and the paycheck that comes along with it.

Most of the visitors to my harbor are here for the park, or the fishing. There are few harbors on Cape Cod that provide dockage for large commercial fishing vessels, mine is simply the best.

There are those that read this who will be wondering how I come to call Hyannis Harbor ... my harbor. I have been a resident of Cape Cod since the early 1980's. I have seen this harbor in it's worst states, and I have watched the struggles to clean the waters here. It progress that has been made is incredible ... especially when you consider that this harbor is an enigma. Most have some sort of freshwater in flux. Not so here. The water stays clean in spite of that. And I am proud that I am a part of keeping it this way, and therefore ... while I am on duty ... the harbor is mine. But then, I also believe that the harbor, the beaches, the blue skies and the ocean belong to all of us that appreciate their beauty and are willing to do something to protect it.

Speaking of Writing

It's hard sometimes to "speak" of writing. Or, in other easier to understand words, reading something that you've written to an audience can be a harrowing experience to say the least. Last night I was asked to read a short story that I've written to my Creative Writing class. This is an experience that I almost always dread, and this time was no different.

I usually will hold my head down and stare at the table when volunteers are called. This occasion was no different really,  but I surprised myself by raising my hand and reading my story ... but I was the last volunteer. It's one of my failings. Public speaking is, for me, the most difficult thing.

I can talk on the radio, regardless of market, to unknown numbers of listeners. I can record a Public Service Announcement, or a Commercial that will be played God knows where to God knows who and never bat an eye. But put me in front of a group and I loose it. The palms start the sweat, and for some really weird reason (unknown to me), my feet start to ache.

I know that this is something that most people deal with in one way or another, but I just thought that I put it out there.

Finals Approach

There is one thing that you can definitely count on during your time in school. Final Exams. This is nothing new, it's been around causing anxiety in just about every student there ever was. I am no different. I have found one simple suggestion that seems to work for me.

Don't "over study". There are those of us that always think that we haven't studied hard enough to get the grade we're after. The temptation to cram the night before the exam is actually detrimental to your performance. From what I've been told, it takes time for your brain to physically make the connections between neurons that store memory. Cramming the night before a big exam could actually stir up those neurons that were already set causing you to loose some memory.

It's a drag for the partying college student, but yes there is truth in what your parents told you about studying every day. Taking the time to go over what you learned in class at the end of the day is the best way to remember what you need to know. And, contrary to popular belief it actually takes less time overall. Take time to do you homework, writing things down solidifies memory much more efficiently, and review your class work for 20 minutes per subject and you should be set for the final exam.

This has worked for me, and according to my wife, I am a professional student; though the jury is out on that one.

Playstation Network Fiasco

I'm not sure what it is with video games these days. I remember when a video game was something you put a quarter in at an arcade. Now things are pretty much done in solitude in a dank basement well beyond the prying eyes of society at large. This is both a good and bad thing.

I have heard horror stories of gamers sitting for days at a time only getting up to answer the door for their next delivery of food, energy products or in some cases drugs. There are urban legends of people wearing adult diapers so they don't have to get up to do even that. Hideous.

It is a good thing that the Playstation Network will be down until next Wednesday at the earliest. While I am completely annoyed that I can't play my two chosen online games. (Battlefield: Bad Company 2 & Call of Duty: Black Ops) I am glad to be one of those who do not live and die by the PS3 / X-Box remote.

Take this week folks and see what the world has in store for you. Go outside, breathe, take a summer course at Cape Cod Community College. In some cases, get a job. I'm just tossing in my two cents.

My First Sale

Well it's happened. I've had my first sale of something that I've written. A few months ago I took it upon myself to list Echelon 7: The Iyanough Chronicles with Amazon.com and low and behold I have had a person in the U.K. buy a copy. I couldn't be more thrilled.

This business of writing down the various ramblings of my imagination is certainly something that I feel proud to do in at least a passable fashion.

I have yet to find a logical next step for the crew of the mining tug Iyanough. I think that the next step will have to show the condition of the human race after the destruction of their home-world. Something like that will be the next work in the chute. But for now, as a new professional writer, I plan on basking in the glow of the £1.30 that is now waiting for whatever threshold that I have to break to actually receive a check. But I am thrilled. Really.

To actually sell something is wonderful. I can only hope that this tiniest fraction of a mere facsimile of success continues and the orders come pouring in. If you have a kindle and would like to buy a copy to help support my writing and give some sort of small glimmer of rational hope to this midlife fledgling I would greatly appreciate it. If you don't have a Kindle and want a PDF version you can find it at LuLu.com.

Now it's back to reality. Time to continue work on the latest thing, and get my assignments in on-time. After all, being on-time is really the key to it all isn't it?

Identity Shuffle

It's time for an exploration of the world of the internet identity shuffle. It is so easy for a member of facebook, twitter, myspace and other social networks to hide their identity simply by claiming a profile picture that isn't really theirs. I have run into this phenomenon on a number of occasions.

The idea is simple. Put a photo of someone beautiful, but not famous, on your profile and claim that it's you. But, now with the growing trend of employers checking facebook and other social networks for information on potential employees, this can cause unforeseen turmoil. Something intended as a little innocent cat-and-mouse can turn out to be perceived dishonesty that may cost the person in question a job.

Enjoying Tim & Heather's Boat

I know that when I write something like this it's good to have a point, and I've been wondering just what is the point in calling people out. Well, it's simple really, I think that most people look fine just the way they are. There are a few exceptions in the population, but for the vast masses this practice is unnecessary for the trouble it may cause you. Honesty in every case is always the best policy. My photo is nothing to write home about, but it's mine.

Consider all the people that may check your social profiles before you post photos. They might seem innocent at the time but, for employers, the pictures of you puking your guts out, half naked, at a party are generally not going to be well received. Thanks for putting up with my little rant here.

Reaching the Halfway Point

I was hatched 40 years ago today at Purdre Valley Memorial Hospital in Fort Collins, Colorado. And today is the statistical halfway point of my life. This eventuality tends to lead one to become brutally nostalgic. And I am no different.

I can clearly remember giving my mother a plaque ("40 is what happens to you just when you've gotten used to 35") on her fortieth birthday. On that day I was just about to turn 14. I can remember how slow time seemed to crawl. Now I look back and wonder where it all went.

Though I am not a fan of the Grateful Dead, I now agree with the statement, "What a long strange trip it's been." Since my mother's birthday back in 1985 I have graduated High School, attempted to join the US Navy (an injury during training derailed that plan), graduated from the Colorado Institute of Art (now the Art Institute of Denver) with a degree in Recording Engineering, worked doing live sound at concerts, did a miserable job at vacuum sales, worked for Packard Bell Computers in Magna, Utah, moved to Martha's Vineyard and got married (16 years in June), was a trashman with BFI, was an assistant manager with Blockbuster Video, when back to school and got my Airframe and Powerplant license at East Coast Aerotech, moved to Maine and worked for American Eagle Airlines, and we bought a house in 2005. In 2007 American Eagle left Bangor, Maine and I found myself with a mortgage to pay and no job. At that point, and out of desperation, I went back to school and got my CDL and hit the road with Stevens Transport. Eventually we weren't making enough to pay the mortgage, and I was gone all the time, so I left Stevens to try to save the house locally.

This didn't work ... and Wells Fargo told us to move out in May of 2009. They still haven't foreclosed and we moved out when they told us to.

So, here I sit on my 40th birthday, I'm living on Cape Cod, with my wife and mother. I am jobless in the winter and work for the Barnstable Harbormaster's office during the summer. I am back in school, and have a position as Production Director at WKKL that college radio station.

This is NOT where I had expected to be at 40. I guess you never can tell where life is going to take you. I'm at the halfway point and am beginning to look at it as a new, if not so fresh, start.

Distractions and Obligations

Just to add even more to my already full workload, I am now the Production Director at WKKL 90.7FM at Cape Cod Community College. Though I am psyched about this, and it will look stunning on the resume, I feel that my time to write will suffer a bit. I suppose it's time to find some discipline and just write. That's what all the experts with all the experience tell us fledgling writers to do, so it's time to JUST DO IT. (Thanks Nike)

I have a rough draft of my final project due this coming Wednesday night and I'm still not sure what I'm doing for that. Last minute Matt ... that's me for sure lately. But with the Radio Conference tomorrow and being Production Director and a full time student and soon to start work for the Harbormaster again ... I'm really busy. But no worries ... I'm off to the school to finish preparation for the radio club contest that's begin run by me during the conference.

Sometimes it feels like it's a wonder that I get anything thing done, let alone find time to sleep and eat. But then, when I really think about it, I'm having fun. And that's all that really matters anyway.

Matt's wisdom for today: If you look at your job and you dread going to work ... because you hate the work itself ... you're really doing the wrong job. Work is always a bummer, but if you love the work then the job becomes a joy and the feeling surrounding that four letter 'W' word changes. It is then that work becomes play and life is good.

Driving on Cape Cod

Anyone that knows me will remember that I tend to be a very opinionated driver. This is most likely because I know that I am, of course, the world's best and most perfect driver (wink wink). I find that there are several types of drivers that are specific to Cape Cod. Their names are similar to other drivers, but they are a wholly different creature.

The first is the Lookilou. This driver has no idea where they're going. They are the most common of these creatures, but are usually only out and about in the height of the summer season. These drivers are amazing in that they now have some amazing technology at their disposal. They drive expensive cars and SUV's equipped with GPS, OnStar and other devices that should ... in theory ... help them to get around. But this species of driver seems to prefer driving aimlessly pointing at houses and eventually being perplexed by the rotaries on the Cape.

The second is the Creeper. This driver is most prevalent during the leafing season in the fall. They are out during the spring and summer seasons, but the Lookilou and general summer congestion tend to mask their effect. This species will consistently drive ten to twenty miles under the posted speed limit. There is no particular age group that comprises this species of driver, however older members of the population are the most common.

The last group is  the Confused. These are elusive creatures that many on may not be actually a myth based in coincidence. This group tends to be specific to Route 28. These creatures are the ones that you find locals shouting, "Route 28 is the name of the road ... NOT THE SPEED LIMIT!"

Sorry for the rant, but please understand that I have on occasion been an unknowing member of all three species. As have we all. I hope this gave you a chuckle ... drive safe out there, summer is coming.

Morning Unbroken

Undisturbed mornings can be hard to come by. With all the distractions of life, and the general chaos of simply being human, it can be hard to find time to write in relative peace. This morning for me is no different from any other.

Here I sit in my tarpaulin cave waiting for inspiration to strike once again. But, as with most mornings, it seems that inspiration didn't get the memo. So, until that wonderful muse comes along I am sitting here listening to old radio shows that myself and others have done at WKKL 90.7FM at Cape Cod Community College.

Most of you know that I have a show that I do weekly at WKKL called the Tree of Metal. It's a show that focuses loosely on the genre of Heavy Metal. I say that it is a loose focus because on the Tree of Metal you could literally hear anything from the blues in 1939 to the latest Hardcore or Thrash from today. Get it? Tree of Metal ... roots to the branches and all that.

So my muse seems to be playing hookie, and that's fine. Today has still been a good morning to get things done. The tricky thing is that my tease of a muse will most likely show up while I'm sitting in traffic where it's impossible to write. Funny thing the way that all works.

Joey - Bag - o - Doughnuts

My wonderful nephew Joseph was here today. He's such a joy. I am grateful that Vickie and I have the opportunity to be close while he's this age. It is our one major regret in leaving Cape Cod while our niece Lauren was small.

Speaking of Lauren. What can I say other than I am truly impressed with the young woman she has become. Though I missed out on most of her childhood, and I miss her telling me how silly I am ... I really am ... I am very happy to be here for her during this time in her life. I can remember how difficult it was to wait for those last two years before becoming a licensed driver. What a cool time to be a teen. She has all the advantages of childhood, and the brain of a young adult. But real life awaits.

Well, that's about it for now. Oh, the Joey-bag-o-doughnuts thing. It, for some unknown reason, reminds me of how fun loving Joseph seems to be right now. Though he doesn't take Mommy leaving really well, we remind him that she's coming back and he seems fine ... until Gram-ma leaves the room for too long. He's still not used to us yet. But he will be soon, I hope.

This Writing

It is quite a thing to decide to start writing a novel. You make plans to start, get you desk together, clear you calendar, and then what? You sit and stare at the keys in some sort of self-sadist plea to begin writing that "Great American Novel" for you. But you know the words don't come without each press of the keys in the correct order. And somedays, like today, the words come ... but not about the subject of your novel. It's strange in an almost cathartic way. Maybe the muses have other plans for me today ... after all writing in a blog is still writing ... right?

It's  not easy to get the jumble of plot complications and possibilities straight in your head when the rest of your life is like some cheap mid-afternoon soap opera. I find that I do some of the stupidest things when I'm in this state. I'll, for instance, start a fight with my wife ... not about money, family, or work ... but about how she's feeling. And just who am I to argue with her about how she's feeling. What kind of moron would do that?

Apparently I would be that moron. And just like Ron White said, "You can't fix stupid."

But yet I will endeavor to do just that. I will try in some feeble way to make amends with her. She is after all my best friend and confidant. What would I do without her? Well, that's apparently my writing for the day ... hope it was worth something.

Plans

In sitting here at my writing desk and typing this message I've discovered something. Whether or not it's important to anyone else, I am a writer. Using words to convey a message is definitely an art, but it's finally an art that I may be somewhat okay at.

This blog started out to be just another assignment from my creative writing professor, but now ... well, I like it too much to give up.

It may also have something to do with where I live. For the moment, and the foreseeable future, I live on Cape Cod. I have been all over most of the United States and I have to say that there are few places that are as inspiring as the Cape.

Maybe the Rockies, or the desert southwest.

At the moment I have several projects going, irons in the fire as it were. A few short stories, and yes that obligatory novel ... good start or false start is unknown, but it's at least started.

On April 21 I will turn forty years old. I am at the bottom of the well of life, thanks to several things I won't bore you with here, but thanks to my wife Vickie, and my family, at least I'm in good company. So, it's college for now ... again, but plans are changing. I am swinging from Computer Science to Communications / English as a major. That's the plan anyway, but we all know about plans. Right?

Approaching Season

Spring. The birds are returning to the Cape. This is one of my favorite times of year. It feels like everything is getting ready. I'm getting ready too. In a few short weeks my summer employment at the harbor will ensue and I'll have another few months of prosperity. It's a good job really. Overnight security / Assistant Harbormaster at one of Cape Cod's most beautiful locations. Leaves me with plenty of time to both write and do my job. The best of both worlds.

Cape Cod is an interesting place ... weather wise.

Mugging the Muse

I've just been rereading Holly Lisle's great book Mugging the Muse: Writing Fiction for Love AND Money. Unfortunately, according to Amazon.com, it's now out of print. It is a shame. I am hoping that a reprint is forthcoming. It's a great book for the beginning writer or for those that want more information on what it is to be a writer from day to day. It's a great read too.

Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott is also a great read and something that I highly recommend to all writers.  She definitely has a way with words. I agree wholeheartedly that every writer has "Shitty First Drafts."

Today I am a cellar dweller. Being 39 and back in college I can tell you that homework is much more important when you're older. When I was a kid ... wow, how often do we say that? Anyway, when I was a kid math came easy to me. As a point of fact it was boring. It's a different story now. But I enjoy working on things that are hard. Why else would I want to be a writer?

But then I digress. Back to Mrs. Lisle. The link that I've provided will get you to her website. You have to click on the title of this post, or just click here. There is a link there to download "Mugging the Muse" and I'd recommend that one if you've the inclination. And even if you don't it's a great read. Off for another day of torturing the brains.

Daily advice: Put yourself out there, there's no way to get anything back if you don't.

Creative Writing at Cape Cod Community College

The day after my creative writing class I always feel like staying home and writing. Today, more than usual. It's mid-March and we got more snow. It makes the house feel cozy and inviting; makes you just want to curl up with your laptop and make the keys sing. But I have a class and so here I sit in my Intro to Business class yet again, and no one is here again. I am very early. Maybe I'm going about it wrong and I should come to class at the last minute like all the kids. But then that's not really me.

I was an Aircraft Mechanic for a long time. I worked for both US Airways and American Eagle Airlines. I have always said that because of the technical knowledge involved, and the expertise needed, Aircraft Mechanics are actually professional nerds that like to get dirty. That and the airlines teach you to try to always be on time or early.

Not sure what that had to do with writing, but I'm sure I'll figure it out one day. Until then, this is that elusive animal ... rarely caught in the open ... writing practice.

Anytime I can tickle the keys of either keyboard or piano I am happy. Finding this little gem out about myself at 39 is kind of awkward, but still I'm happy to learn it now. I could have found out that writing was my passion at the ripe age of 90. Where would I be then. As it is it's hard to keep story details straight.

So it's off to another day of mid-life learning at Cape Cod Community College here on ... you guessed it ... Cape Cod. I suppose there are worse places I could be going to school.

Oh, and if you're interested, the professors here are top notch and they have a Radio Broadcasting program here that is second to none. They actually teach the technique of remote broadcasts and radio journalism. A rarity from what I'm told.

Have a great day. I know that I will.

Today's Words of Wisdom: Follow your passion and doors will open ... often in places you don't expect.

Decisions

Deciding on an outlet for your work can be the most daunting of tasks. I seem to be mired in that exact conundrum. There are literally hundreds of places to submit your work as a new writer. An here in lies the most problematic of issues.

Most of the magazines that I have checked out seem to want to have exclusive access to your current submission. This seems to convey a sort of mobius loop of submission and rejection and resubmission:

This tends to make the already complicated art of writing ... well ... more complex ... or at least more tedious.

Words from the sage: Keep writing. Your going to need the cannon fodder.

Sites to check out:   The Writer's Cafe - a great place for new writers to ply their craft.

Back in School

It's 9:00am and I'm waiting for my Intro to Business class to begin. I'm the only one sitting here this early, 30 minutes, and I am beginning to wonder if it's been moved or canceled. I should check my e-mail.


A quick check reveals no new information. Interesting. Usually there's people here by now. Must be a slow start for the week after spring break.

As for writing. Nothing much in the last day or so. Some minor ideas, and some new software. I'm checking out a program called The Writer's Cafe. It seems fairly all encompassing, but I have yet to use it to any great extent. But anything that will help me keep notes, research and actual writing organized and flowing is welcome. I'll let you know more later. Until then, have a great and productive writing day.

Today's mantra: I am nobody's bitch.

Dip a Toe

I have, today dipped a toe into the proverbial writing pond. I have stepped off that precipice and have plied the waters to find my bounty... Right! If only writing worthwhile things was all it took. But as the first project chronicled in this blog I thought it would be good to begin with a Short Story submission. Always fun and rewarding right?

We'll see...

The project I'm working on surrounds the adventures of the mining tug Iyanough (Eye-an-oh). It's planned as a short series that begins with the utter destruction of the planet Earth. It is a science fiction piece that I am working to keep as realistic as I can. (I don't want you to smell the bullshit coming). The first installment is available now for kindle at: Eschelon 7 (The Iyanough Chronicles) . It's also available in PDF form here:


Echelon 7: The Iyanough Chronicles

I am proud of this piece. It's one of the first that actually received some good reviews from readers.

As with most writers, I am also working on a novel. This will be my first ... and since I have never done this before ... I have no idea how long it's going to take. I know it'll be a lot of work, but I am looking at it like a labor of love. If, and that's a big 'IF', it get's published I'll be estatic.

Advice this go 'round: Write. Write. Write. Even if you're convinced that what you're writing is the worst kind of self indulgent drivel there ever was. Write. Write. Write. Just do it ... you'll be glad you did.